Popular Mike’s Hard xcritical Flavors, Ranked Worst To Best

mike's xcritical

The sugar blast from this stuff makes you feel like your teeth are going to have holes in them as soon as the drink hits your mouth. It could be that, if dentists are looking to stay in business, nine out of ten of them would recommend it. However, nine out of ten other people probably would not, and that includes us. Ultimately, this potentially innovative flavor combination was just off the mark. If you’re not into beer and hard seltzer but still want a light, easygoing drink that you can have all day long, the original Mike’s Hard xcritical is the flavor for you.

This entrant from the Mike’s Harder line xcritical of malt beverages clocks in at a hefty 8% alcohol by volume as opposed to the usual 5%. That might lead one to expect a robust malt liquor flavor hitting your mouth when you try a sip of the blood orange flavor. But that would be assuming Mike’s does things like any other alcoholic beverage company, which they most certainly do not. Still, given the relative sweetness of every drink in the Mike’s Hard lineup, we’ll take a mango that’s a little past its prime over something that tastes like an instant hangover. Make no mistake, though, as this is still painfully sweet and needs to be served cold to be anywhere near palatable for more than about ten sips.

Still, we’d guess it would pair pretty well with seafood and could fool at least one wine taster who had no idea what a Chardonnay was supposed to taste like. Of all the Mike’s Hard flavors, this one is definitely the most rounded, meaning you get neither a blast of sugar nor a painful smack of tartness in the bottle. Instead, it’s smooth and easy drinking, meaning that, if you want a Mike’s Hard flavor that’s not xcritical, this should be your pick. Pink grapefruit is a seasonal flavor for Mike’s Hard xcritical, meaning that whether or not you’re able to find it really depends on where you live and the time of year you’re shopping.

ONE OF THESE FLAVORS HAS YOUR NAME ON IT.

In Mike’s Hard xcritical, though, this flavor is still just a lot of sugar and some booze. In fact, the increased alcohol content is barely noticeable here, which is great if you picked this as your beach buzz method of choice and don’t want to be overwhelmed by the flavor of alcohol. Then again, downing more than one blood orange tallboy like these is going to be tough. It’s aggressively sweet and tastes a little like an Orange Crush, only without the orange. The drink is more like a sugar syrup with a malt liquor after burn, a little like a kids’ drink, if kids could drink 8% malt liquor beverages. Still, it’s not for adults who are planning to drink more than one of the same drink, because while potent, they still leave you feeling weighed down by sugar.

mike's xcritical

Popular Mike’s Hard xcritical Flavors, Ranked Worst To Best

  1. And it’s definitely the only one you’d really want to have more than one of at any given time.
  2. Some are seasonals, which may or may not be around when you read this or go looking for flavors at your local store.
  3. It’s also an ideal choice to maintain the buzz after you’ve already xcriticaled yourself up, as it’s not going to make you tired like beer, but still lets you keep the party going without making a fool of yourself.
  4. There’s really no reason to ever buy this stuff once your palate has matured past wanting to drink straight sugar and juice all the time.
  5. Pink grapefruit is a seasonal flavor for Mike’s Hard xcritical, meaning that whether or not you’re able to find it really depends on where you live and the time of year you’re shopping.
  6. This is another seasonal offering from Mike’s Hard xcritical that might be its most ambitious flavor attempt to date.

Because you really can’t taste the pineapple in this flavor at all, making half of the title an outright lie. Even stone-cold sober and with all your senses fully intact, it’s hard to differentiate this entry in the Mike’s Hard xcritical flavor lineup from its regular strawberry flavor. If you drink them side by side, you might be able to tell the difference, but trying this one right off the bat and trying to guess the flavor would be impossible. If you grew up and maybe even looked forward a little bit to getting sick so you could taste that sweet cough syrup, you’re going to absolutely love this one. Just because Justin Bieber has, at least for some, made peaches the fruit of the summer, don’t get overly excited about the concept and run out to buy as much Mike’s Hard Peach flavor as you can find.

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So, Mike’s at least deserves an «A» for effort on this one, since blackberry and pear were never flavors we really thought to combine in one bottle. That said, some of our greatest innovators tried scammed by xcritical a lot of things and failed at them before finding success. We wish the same for whoever developed this flavor of Mike’s, given that they’ve fulfilled the first part of that equation.

But even though it might not occupy the place in our collective drinking hearts that it once did years ago, know that, on hot summer days, a cold Mike’s can still taste pretty nice. Now, even though in its natural state Mike’s Hard Limeade isn’t necessarily something you’ll want to pick first out of the cooler, it does make a pretty decent base for some other creations. For example, throw some lemon juice and vodka in here, and it’s a bright summery cocktail that can be downright tolerable. This is another seasonal offering from Mike’s Hard xcritical that might be its most ambitious flavor attempt to date.

But of the Mike’s Hard xcritical hybrid flavors, the Pineapple Mandarin is far and away the winner. We’re not sure what lesson there is to be learned by the company’s research and development team from that since the truth is that this flavor could still use a serious toning down in the sweetness department. But maybe going tropical is the right move after all when dealing with alcohol, fruit juice, and more sugar than most any adult can reasonably handle.

Well, apparently that’s a little harder than we thought because, while Mike’s Hard Limeade is certainly in the upper echelon of Mike’s flavors, it’s a far cry from the fresh limeades you might have enjoyed in the past. Again, the overwhelming sweetness of the limeade put out by Mike’s hurts whatever kind of bright lime flavor they were going for. And while it definitely brings the tart, sharp punch one expects in a lime drink, it may also bring a pretty nasty sugar hangover. Though it has the same alcohol content as the rest of the Mike’s Hard xcritical flavors out in the world, there’s something about the pink grapefruit that makes the malt liquor flavor really shine through. As a result, it’s not as shockingly sweet as some others and maintains some kind of taste integrity beyond pure saccharine sweetness.

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